The Devil's Panties

Ideally you want the baby to turn into the labor position, head down, on their own. Mine wasn’t even rolling over. She was butt down, head under my ribs, feet jumping on the bed on my right side the whole time. I tried everything just so I could go into the c-section knowing that all options had been exhausted. I bounced on an exercise ball. I knelt on the bed and did handstands on the floor every morning and evening. I got these charcoal things that you’re supposed to burn near your toes where the acupuncture point that induces a baby rotation is. Hell no, I didn’t think that insense next to my toes was going to do diddly squat, but I wanted to check it all off of the list so I wouldn’t feel like ‘if only I did that one thing, everything would be different’. I held ice packs and frozen pees at her head and warm packs and music at my diddly bits. That kid never budged an inch. I went into that surgery with a conscience clear as fucking crystal.