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Sometimes the guy is honestly trying to give an innocent complement with no intention. But when an innocent complement is given by a stranger who is bigger and stronger than you in a situation where you have no escape, it’s hard to take at face value. Just imagine if Godzilla was giving you the same complement. Do you feel threatened?
I saw a womens college basketball player get catcalled once. She smiled and waved. She did not feel threatened because she could definitely kick anyones ass. There was also a show that dressed up moms and walked them by catcallers who were their sons (who didn’t recognize them). If you’re just giving a complement, what’s wrong with saying it to your mom? (the moms smacked the crap out of their sons)
The reason for a two year delay is many. First I wanted to make sure that I have time to fully deal with any problems or complications before doing comics about it. There was and will be a lot of really hard stuff that I may not be willing to share at the time but is very important to talk about because a lot of people go through it. The delay lets me handle what I need to and process it before making it public.  Also, this kid is eventually going to have an opinion about what I share about them. I want to give them time to live their life without being a punchline. It’s a lot easier to laugh about the things you did two years ago rather than what you did yesterday.
“But they need me.” Doesn’t matter what gender, age, orientation, whatever, everyone has said this. Doesn’t have to be a significant other. This can be a family member, housemate, friend. You trap yourself into this mindset and everyone around you is yelling to get out but you’re not there yet. Finally, something breaks, and you walk away and suddenly this enormous weight lifts and you can’t understand how you put up with it for so long. I’ve had this with friends and loved ones. Everyone has had this. It’s super scary to walk away but it feels so good once you do!
Obby and I are fine, by the way. We let each other know if we’re feeling put upon or stressed.
